Nicole vs. Life
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
