East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
