dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
third nipple confirmed
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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