Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
