I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
