yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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