oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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