It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
