so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
