We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
