The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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