Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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