i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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