It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
