I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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