She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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