I think i sorta joined a cult last night
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
