This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
