no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize