So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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