Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
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Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
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I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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