Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
