Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
