Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we're making bets on your personal life
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
