Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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