Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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