I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
