You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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