I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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