woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
