I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
