i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
