I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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