If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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