I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
