Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
