No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
