I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He shit in the fireplace
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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