the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
