I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
