It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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