Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
