Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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