Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
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Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
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The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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