forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life