the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
seriously i just wanna be friends
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...