Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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