the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.