i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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