He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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