bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
