I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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