i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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