i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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