Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
