Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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