i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
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I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize