Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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