he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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