thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
