I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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