Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
