Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
