between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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