so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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