Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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