omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
