we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
