Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
