We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
