lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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